APRIL 1, 2015—The SoonToBeAMajor Motion Picture Studio has unveiled plans to produce a tender retrospective on the early childhood of one of the world’s most famous troubled teenagers, the rampaging juvenile delinquent known as El Niño.
The meteorological blockbuster will open in the watery eastern Pacific Ocean neighbourhood where El Niño (“the boy child” in Spanish) is believed to have been born and spent its early, formative years. Cinema researchers gathering background for the film reached out to noted climate scientist Kevin Trenberth, who explained that El Niño’s meaning and purpose changed over the years, and “only subsequently became associated with the unusually large warmings that occur every few years and change the local and regional ecology.”
The film will be true to the science—a gutsy move that will enrage climate deniers, stoking controversy that is sure to fill seats. But the studio said writers are working on a deeper, more emotional treatment that captures the complex inner life of a phenomenon that had to mix it up with brutal storm systems and cyclonic forces throughout the region. Before long, El Niño developed a reputation for its mercurial personality, known for long periods of quiet followed by bursts of rage that could last a year or more.
Casting at SoonToBeAMajor is said to be recruiting for a well-known Pacific storm system to play the lead role in the movie, with early rumours centring on the recent runaway hit, Cyclone Pam.
“I’m blown away to be considered for this role,” Pam said through her agent, KochTalent. “If I get this gig, I know I can bring down the house. And most of the capital city.”